My husband and daughter walked away from their accident. So did the other people involved. But the lessons learned will last a lifetime.
Some things get easier as you go along as a parent. Other things don’t. Like driving. Or rather, letting your child do the driving. Our 7th child got her license two months ago, and it was just as hard as when her oldest sibling took her first trip to Safeway 13 years ago.
No parent manual can prepare a mother or father for the depth of pain that comes with releasing a child to the road.
- The loss of control.
- Knowing what and who is out there.
- Understanding that your child is going to learn best by experience and wondering how bad those experiences will be.
We’ve had close calls, but as of January 17th, 2016, we had not experienced more than a slight fender bender.
Our Car Accident
Then came the phone call. It was Chris. “We’ve been in an accident. And it’s bad. But we’re both OK.” He was disoriented. I could hear the sirens.
Our 21-year-old daughter announced that she was taking me to the scene. I was thankful not to drive.
I was in agony. What about the other car? He didn’t say anything about them. Chris said Kaitlyn was driving. What is she going to have to live with? What does “bad” mean?
We pulled up to the intersection, a notorious intersection for accidents, and I saw our car. My heart sank. I saw the other vehicle. My heart beat faster. Kaitlyn was on the curb and Chris was wandering around her. Police were directing traffic. I saw another family and they looked OK. I breathed a tentative sigh of relief.
It didn’t take long to find out that Kaitlyn had been turning left. A car across from her appeared to be turning right. The driver changed his mind and kept going. Her inexperience led her to assume all was well and she didn’t see him change lanes. Chris, in the passenger seat, yelled her name twice. She put her foot on the brake.
The airbag on the passenger side of our Honda CRV deployed on impact and no doubt saved my husband.
The airbags in the couple’s car helped them walk away.
The tow truck driver asked if we needed anything from the car.
I looked at him and said, “I bet you see some bad things.”
He clearly wanted to talk. I’m glad I asked, because I’m hoping what he had to say will help others. We were his 7th and 8th vehicles of the day, and it was only noon. His day started with a DUI accident. He said he gets paid by the vehicle, but he would rather go broke than see what he sees.
Blurry photo taken with my new flip phone.
Lessons from a Tow Truck Driver
- Cell phones belong in the glove compartment. I see so many teens (and adults) sobbing at the scene who regret texting and driving.
- You’re never in a hurry. Never. You might not get where you’re going if you’re in a hurry.
- If someone waves you on, don’t believe them.
- When you’re stopped behind someone, always make sure you can see the bottom of their back tires. This is a safe distance.
- Pay no attention to people who honk at you because they’re impatient.
- The middle lane is the safest.
- Accidents are preventable. I know they’re called accidents, but they aren’t. (This he repeated multiple times.)
I recently got rid of my smartphone, in part because of the driving issue. I found it too tempting and a poor example to my kids. I now have a flip phone for emergencies. After speaking with the tow truck driver, I’m even more motivated to minimize distractions and stay focused on the road. I hope to help others do the same.
Chris and I shared our experience two days after the accident on his radio program Chris Fabry Live! Listen to the podcast here.
SO glad everyone came out okay… banged up emotionally, no doubt, but it sure could have been worse. We hope everyone recovers quickly. This is a tough lesson to learn, but hopefully it will prevent worse accidents from happening in the future. Love you guys! – Cindy and Steve
Everyone in our family is learning from this. Thank you Cindy.
Thank you for helping us to learn from this also; loved what you shared regarding tow truck driver’s comments (Plan to share that with several people.).
Thanks again for making this a learning experience for us all!?
As I listened to him I so wanted him to have a platform to share this and then I realized. . . I could be the platform! 🙂 Thanks Pam.
Hi Andrea,
I’m so sorry to hear of Chris and Kaitlyn’s accident. Praying for quick complete recoveries for them both.
My heart goes out to you and I thank you for helping all of us with the tips. It will be remembered and followed.
Thank you, Carolyn. I appreciate that.
Sorry to hear this happened to your family. My husband is a 3rd generation auto body repair tech, and tow truck driver, it’s an emotional time for everyone involved in an accident, we see it in our line of work on a daily basis, and I think your TOW TRUCK DRIVER tips are so wonderful, I’d like permission to share them on our Facebook page Pinks’s Paint and Body. Glad to hear your husband and daughter will be ok Andrea!
Thank you, Lisa. Yes, please do share!!
Just shared! Thank you, and hope you are doing better!
We are so glad everyone is okay! Thank you, Andrea. I need to hear these things. And I need to get rid of my smart phone for the distraction factor and for other reasons!
The “Angel-of-the-Lord”….encamps round about those who fear Him..
Because of where our Father has both of you in your serving Him, He is allowing these types of challenges, to be another of His instruments, to share how much He loves, cares, and provides for His children.
You are being His voice extended….to enlighten, encourage, and inform the rest of us…if for no other reason, than to stir up our “pure-minds”, by way of remembrance, and help us not to become careless in our daily routines of life.
Thanking the Lord with you, that your story has, to this point, been one with a joy-filled chapter in the midst of grief and lose….fully aware that there will still be, a few more chapters to come.
Thank you Pastor Hobbs. I appreciate this so much.
On Monday, January 3, 2005 – my 16-year-old son had a fatal car accident. Witness said that he was distracted, reaching for something.
On Friday, June 15, 2007 – my 16-year-old daughter had a fatal car accident. No evidence that she was distracted, but she had two passengers so I believe she wasn’t completely paying attention.
Another lesson from these two incidents is that neither of them were wearing a seatbelt even though that was our rule. My daughter was in the habit of wearing a seatbelt but this particular day she stopped the car and got out then back in and forgot to put her seatbelt back on. Her backseat passenger was another of my children who was wearing a seatbelt and had no injuries resulting from their accident.
I guess my message is “life is so fragile, treasure every moment”.
Oh Lori. Thank you for taking the time to share this. I am so very sorry. My mother’s heart feels for yours. I really do appreciate that you would take the time to comment. This will help others no doubt.
My mother heart identifies with you and your frightening family situation. Thank you for taking the time and effort to let all of us know the safety measures we can take to keep ourselves and our families safe.
REALLY appreciate your insight and thinking of others in your pain!
Sarah Pope
Thank you so much, Sarah. You’re always such an encouragement to me.
So sorry to read about the accident. Thankful that the damage was only to the vehicles and the emotional trauma that comes with the aftermath. Praying that your daughter will be able to get behind the wheel again and that she and Chris are able to take a deep breath and feel the calm that the Lord will bring in the days ahead. Thank you for the information on the airbags. I have a fear of airbags. I am short and the thought of one going off in my face always scares me. Our great nephew was burned from his going off in his face. He is over 6 ft tall. We were thankful that was his only injury though.
Thanks again for sharing your story!
Joann
Yes, air bags aren’t perfect that’s for sure. Such a journey of faith isn’t it?
So sorry to hear about the car accident! It is scary out there – especially when it isn’t so much yourself and your own driving habits you have to worry about, but everyone else around you! My older sister was in a terrible accident 15+ years ago, an elderly woman decided to cross a highway while my sister was approaching the intersection at 60 mph. By the grace of God, the seat belt kept her in place while she spun around the intersection like a top after T-boning the other car. My parents got the phone call from my sister, “I was in a little fender bender, I need you”. I was a freshman in high school and was left home alone as my Parent’s went to go see how bad the damage was. My parents were told by the tow truck driver there that he doesn’t know how she made it out alive. The elderly lady that hit her was able to walk away while my sister rode off in an ambulance to the hospital.
She was a senior in high school and had her whole future ahead of her and in the blink of an eye, someone that wasn’t paying attention could have taken that all away from her. Many bumps, bruises, a couple of fractured bones and 15+ years still haunt my sister to this day. That intersection now has a stop light but carries that unforgettable memory for her.
Thank you for sharing with us your story. Praise the Lord that everyone was able to walk away!!!
God Bless,
Colleen in Indiana
Oh I feel for your sister- for all of you! Such a trauma. Thank you for sharing this story, Colleen.
I’m praying for you, Chris, your daughter and your entire family. You’re doing a good work.
Sue
I appreciate that, Sue. Nice to hear from you.
I heard you and Chris talk about the accident on toxic talk Tuesday and it made me relive a similar experience our family walked through. Our 17 year old son had his license a week. We allowed he and his 15 year old sister to go to a friend’s house for movie night. Our daughter called before they left to come home to let us know they were on their way. 10 minutes later the phone rang again. I heard her voice saying they’d been in an accident but were okay. The trembling in her voice brought me to my knees. My dad was visiting and drove my husband and I to the intersection. We knew they had been rear ended but were just expecting a fender bender. As we got close we could see multiple flashing lights.
They had been stopped at a red light and were hit from behind by a car going 80mph. He never hit the brakes. The impact buckled the back of our suburban and pushed them 100 feet through the intersection.
Thank God they were ok, just shaken up. The police officer told us our son showed remarkable poise and wisdom for such a young driver. The best part was hearing our daughter tell us that immediately following the collision she and my son looked at each other, grabbed hands and prayed.
Thank you for sharing this, Jenny. I’m glad they walked away. The Suburban helped I imagine. We used to have a Suburban.
Oh my! That must have been so stressful and horrifying to not know what to expect when you got there. I’m so sorry this happened but so glad your family is okay. That’s got to be so hard when your children start driving, and it’s often not them you worry about but the other people on the road. I see so many accidents at a few intersections here in Ottawa that are caused by people jumping the light or changing lanes without checking their blind spots etc Those are such really great tips, thank you for passing them on. I think everyone should read those, especially those drivers who are impatient, distracted or change their mind because they don’t want to have to turn around and go back a different way (time consuming for impatient people). So scary but glad everyone is ok!
Yes, those blind spots are so troublesome. Thank you for taking the time to comment, Dana.