Do you find yourself on a device more hours than you’d like? Are you concerned about the length of time your kids spend with screens? Are you looking for some counter-cultural encouragement when it comes to technology and parenting?
Screen-Free Parenting
As a mom whose children span from age 15 to 31, I have seen a tremendous shift in parenting over the years. In the mid-1980s when our journey began, our biggest decision was whether or not to allow our kids to watch an hour of TV. Now, it’s:
- How much time should we allow on the Internet?
- What type of cell phone do we provide?
- What about movie watching?
- What about my time on the computer?
I wish I had seen it coming. It happened so fast. I have spent the last two years trying to reverse our technology habits. (See From Wireless to Wired – Our Family’s Journey.) My goal is to spend these last few years showing them what life is like with limited technology and lots of outdoor time.
My biggest emphasis is on my own journey. I have cut way back on my computer time and even replaced my smartphone with a flip phone. (See Why I Got Rid of My Smartphone.)
I feel for parents of toddlers and preschoolers. Screens are everywhere. They are presumed safe. But are they? What is the impact on brain development and brain health?
Screen-Free Parenting is a website dedicated to parents of young children. Screen-Free Mom is a psychologist, while Screen-Free Dad is a business and technology specialist. Together they offer parents a chance to see that “life without screens is incredibly freeing, boredom is the friend of creativity, and your child’s brain is an amazing thing.”
Screen-Free Parenting has launched a campaign called 1 Million Screen-Free Activities for Kids, offering 5 unique activities each week with the goal of screen-free family fun.
Activities are based on the S.P.O.I.L. principle, a screen-free, psychologically-based system for prioritizing activities that have the largest positive impact on child development.
- Social
- Play (free play)
- Outdoor
- Independent
- Literacy
Activities include:
- Homemade Moon Sand
- Stage a Car Wash
- Play in a Dirt Pile
- Tree Climbing
- Berry Picking
- Play in Puddles
When you sign up for Screen-Free Parenting’s newsletters, you’ll receive 5 suggestions each week. Before you know it, you’ll be at a million! (Sign up for the newsletter here.)
I’ve discovered that teens (and even my twenty-something adult kids) respond to screen-free ideas.
5 Screen-Free Activities for Teens
1. Egg Toss
Divide into teams of two. Each pair stands a couple of yards apart. One team member tosses a raw egg to their partner. If the egg breaks, the team is out. After each successful catch, the players take one step backward. The last team with an unbroken egg wins.
2. Congregate Outdoors
I have found that if I go sit outside to read, others in the family follow. Even when all the chairs are filled, others will sit on the sidewalk just to join in the conversation. We also have lots of river rock in our front yard. Rocks are fun at any age!
3. Work Project
Find a manageable project and offer either a cash reward or another incentive. Recent projects at our house have included a painting project using milk paint, a DIY chicken swing, and a small fenced enclosure. We even have a semi-annual Window Games competition! (See Kids and Chores.)
Milk paint is old-fashioned paint, free of chemicals and a great option for smaller paint projects. Brandon was able to complete this project from start to finish. (We use Old-Fashioned Milk Paint.)
4. Hike
My teens seldom respond to an invitation to go for a walk, but will jump at a chance to hike at our local state park. It’s a 45-minute trip but well worth the extra effort. Every time I carve out the time I end up more productive and refreshed, and of course more bonded with my kids.
5. Animals
We spent several years without a dog after we left our Colorado home. (Read our story here.) We added Tebow in 2011 and he brought life back to our family. Our teens pamper Tebow, teach him tricks, and have lots of fun dressing him.
More recently we have added chickens. They are far more entertaining than I expected, and our youngest son spends a great deal of time interacting with them.
Even parakeets and beta fish have brought joy to our teens over the years.
Technology isn’t going anywhere. It’s an integral part of our culture. Rather than reprimand our teens for their reliance on devices, let’s involve them in the brainstorming process and come up with fun, rewarding, screen-free alternatives!
Hear more about the vision of Screen-Free Parenting in this episode of The Connecting Place.
Andrea,
This is such a refreshing read! I truly miss the “old days” before technology took over.
Your article gives great ideas and incentives for screen-free activities.
Thanks for sharing!
?
Thanks, Angela!
Andrea,
Thank you! Your blog has given validity to my mom thoughts about the shift in our culture and my concern about the future. Have you read Dr. Archibald Hart’s book, The Digital Invasion”? My eldest is 19. We were careful about what she watched on TV and how much. She loved books and crafts! She now is addicted to on-line activities and laments at not having read/finished a non-required book in years.
The tougher case for “recovery” would be our second born who is two years younger who never liked books or crafts and has always preferred TV to anything.
There is hope to intercept our youngest who just turned 13. He is an athlete who loves being outside and being social. I needed this blog and your link to the Screen-Free Parenting Newsletter. He’s just entered the world of on-line gaming and wanting to get at least one social media account. He is aware that I don’t want him to become that “gamer” who obsesses about video games and says he doesn’t want that either, that he has other interests. I just want to keep it that way.
Our youngest just turned 13 and we feel the pressure to loosen the reigns just a bit, allowing more access to tech devices.
I know there is a difference between the 13 and older teen years. Each of my kids is smart and I want them to retain and gain the highest functioning brains they can. I fear too much technology is working in the opposite direction. My son regularly laments….
I share Dr, Hart’s prediction is true, that as our brains are being re-wired for speed, we are loosing our ability to contemplate. With that, I think we are loosing a spiritual pathway in terms of our ability to pray.
Is there ANYTHING written TO KIDS about this? All I ever read/hear is directed toward parents.
Mary
You raise an excellent point. We need to have more young people share about their own experience. My two daughters wrote this about giving up their smartphones: These comments can be found in the post : Why I Got Rid of My Smartphone. (http://it-takes-time.com/2016/02/why-i-got-rid-of-my-smartphone.html)
Megan
Because I now turn on my phone only when I need to, my friends have learned I’m not the texting type. This has thinned out my social circle tremendously. I only communicate with people who need to talk with me, or express a sincere desire to do so. This deletion of friends is such a relief. I am no longer stressing out about the wrong emoji to a colleague, or the wrong text or wording to a friend. This has significantly lightened my anxiety load.
Shannon
I’ve noticed a significant, direct impact on my connection with emotion. I’m increasingly aware of loneliness, which turns into a genuine desire for real-life relationship. Face-to-face contact ends up providing more serotonin and positive feedback loops in my brain. Where an iPhone gives me a quick little boost, the enhanced depth of desire for human contact, and the process of that contact, as well as the payoff from that journey is far more rewarding.
I would highly recommend it to those who have social anxiety and those who struggle with depression.
As the tsunami was just beginning — when texting and Facebook became popular and I choose to resist jumping on the band-wagon– I am just now realizing that corresponds with my own season of bewildering isolation, with friends no longer calling me. Maybe those two were connected? I felt sincere friends would purpose to let me in on things directly. Andrea, as you felt freedom, I felt rejection.
It’s hard to go against the status quo in any area of our lives, I think. Thanks for sharing.
Crazy that we need a list of ideas that includes play in the dirt and climb a tree. My boys love to sit in our trees or dig holes in the yard…I think they’re WWII foxholes (and they’re dangerous to those of us just trying to get to the garden or chickens!). They also love catching the dozens of bright green shiny beetles that are hanging out at our fig tree right now! It’s hard when it’s 100 degrees out every day during the summer, but we always enjoy a barefoot walk to watch the sun set….
Simple pleasures…that’s what it’s about. Thanks, Kim.